


Fancasting

by gladdecease



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Comic Book References, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Teenage Drunkenness, no like really gratuitous comic book references
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-10
Updated: 2012-07-10
Packaged: 2017-11-09 13:32:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gladdecease/pseuds/gladdecease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm just saying, man, if <em>I</em> was Nightwing? I'd go with the red color scheme, but keep the fingerstripes, those're <em>cool</em>."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fancasting

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know, man, I just have a lot of feelings about Stiles and all the Batman metaphors he uses. I suspect he is actually not nearly as comics savvy as I present him here, but for the sake of this story let's pretend he just simplifies his metaphors for the non-believers.

"The thing is, I _am_ Robin.  _And_ Batman.  Though sadly, not as flexible."

"Okay, Stiles."

"I am!  I'm the first one.  Dick."

"You're a dick?"

"Dick _Grayson_!  The first Robin!  Nightwing!  And Batman, for a little while.  Stupid reboot."

"If you say so, Stiles.  Who am _I_ , then?"

"Well, really?  Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Spider-Man."

"What?"

"Seriously!  You're Spider-Man!  All _with great power comes great responsibility_ and crap.  And Derek's Wolverine, an' I'm pretty sure Jackson's the Hulk."

"I thought we were sticking to DC."

"Oh, you just wanna stick to DC, huh?  Fine, we can do that.  But I warn you, you're not gonna be a mainstream guy."

"I think I'll survive somehow."

"In that case, you.  Scott.  My man.  You are the Blue Beetle."

"Who?"

"Jaime Rrrrreyes.  The third one."

"The third what?"

"Blue Beetle, pay attention!"

"I am!  So how am I this Jaime guy?"

"Well, he's kinda like Spider-Man?  They both accidentally got bug powers, though his are actually from this alien scarab-shaped... whatever, you don't care about that.  Point is, he didn't ask for his powers an' they're kinda hard to control at first?  But once he does he's just this... really cool dude.  Who goes off and saves the world sometimes, you know?"

"And you think I'm like that."

"Yeah, man.  I mean, admittedly, when you didn't have control of your powers?  Kinda terrifying.  I'm not gonna lie, I feared for my life at times."

"..."

" _But_.  Now that you're good?  You're _awesome_.  And totally superheroic."

"...thanks, Stiles.  That means a lot."

"No problem man.  Just make sure I look sober by the time we get home, alright?"

"Sure thing."

"..."

"So, what about Allison, is she that archer guy from _The Avengers_ , or...?"

"Okay, first off?  You said DC-only, _The Avengers_ is a Marvel property.  And second, _no_ , she's not _Hawkeye_ just 'cause they both shoot arrows.  He's a _carnie_ , ferchrissake.  Or an assassin, if you're talking about Ultimate Hawkeye."

"Ultimate...?"

"Don't worry about it.  Allison, though... hmm.  I think she might be Batgirl."

"Batgirl?  Didn't Batgirl and Robin..."

"What, no, I'm not - wrong Batgirl!  Allison's not the first one - that's _Lydia_ , with the hair and the brains and the... mm, yeah.  What was I saying?"

"That Allison and Lydia are both Batgirl?"

"Right, right!  Lydia's the first one, supergenius redhead Barbara Gordon, only without _The Killing Joke_ happening to her, because nobody wants to see that happen, even if did give us Oracle."

"What are you _talking_ about?"

"Uh, right, you don't - nevermind.  So, Lydia's the first one, but Allison's the second.  Her name's Cassandra Cain, and her parents are these _crazy-ass_ superassassins, totally lethal killers and stuff.  Yeah."

"Okay... I can kind of see where you're coming from with that."

"Right.  And her dad's, you know, bringing her up in the superassassin way, as one does, but then she hears about this Batman guy, right?  And she realizes she doesn't want to be a superassassin, she wants to save people!  So she switches sides and defeats her parents - well, just her dad at first, she doesn't know who her mom is yet, but that's not - anyway, the point is, after that she becomes a hero for justice!  Except for the whole _One Year Later_ catastrophe, but we ignore that."

"...we do?"

"Comics are complicated stuff, Scott.  You'll just have to trust me on this one."


End file.
